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January 25 河内为了省钱,我并没有直接坐飞机去河内,机票不贵,但是加上税就比较贵了.更何况我是先到桂林,所以坐的从南宁得大巴去的河内. 去河内之前听说过关会很慢,那边的官僚效率又低又很贪. 所以我们做的很早一班车去.说实话去河内之前我还没怎么研究透路线,很多行程的重要关节还没有确定.再加上前面阳朔的出师不利,心里还是有点担心的. 还好友谊关过关并没有那么费劲,下午4点多,我们到了河内.打了一辆taxi到老街区Sinh Cafe旅行社。定了南下的大巴票,下龙湾团,和从芽庄回来得机票。然后找了个旅馆住下。河内,跟我想象的样子差不多,脏乱差,但很多老外,摩托横行。出国的感觉还是比较兴奋,匆匆安顿好,晚上到还剑湖旁边逛了逛。按照Lonely Planet上面推荐的找到了一家餐馆,进去看了看,价格已经比LP上推荐的高了3倍,不知道是不是因为之前的通货膨胀的缘故。不过环境不错,在湖边,也有传统的越南民乐表演。头一顿越南菜给我印象不错。之前在北京吃过越南菜,感觉很是难吃。这个上来后,却觉得味道不错。 吃到一半,那个领唱突然走到我桌边问:”Where are you from? 我说中国,本以为她要说什么,结果她一扭头走了。我正莫名其妙间,等会她拿着两束玫瑰来了,献到我们桌上,然后开始唱------渴望主题曲....
准备接下来的下龙湾2日游。 January 22 广西-越南游记今年本来要去柬埔寨的,因为等陈嘉林错过了打折机票的最佳时间,最后改为走广西-越南一线. 这条线路也经过了不少修改,本来计划重点在广西,越南只是去河内的下龙湾一行。广西玩桂林,德天大瀑布,和北海,涠洲岛一线,后来发现北海的气温还不足以下水,就cancel掉了,而德天瀑布查阅后感觉也更多是虚名,也cancel了。利用省下的时间从河内向南走。最终的行程是北京-桂林-阳朔-南宁-河内-下龙-顺化-会安-芽庄-返回。如果还有时间的话,应该继续向南去胡志明市,但是我没有时间了。而且胡志明市对我并没有太多吸引力,湄公河水上集市肯定不如泰国的,越战地道么,我在很多越战游戏里都体验过了,而且从胡志明飞回河内的机票是从芽庄回来的2倍。所以我也并不感到遗憾。 总体来说,这一趟并不是很顺利,也比较艰苦,以致于中途我头一次在旅游中有了想早点回家的念头。但是到后来,还是觉得很有意思,还是比较独特的经历,虽然并不全都是好的经历。可以用一句话总结,越南,还是值得去一次的,但是去过一次后,你不会再去了。 阳朔我到了桂林后,并没有多待,直接奔赴阳朔,桂林里也就是游览了从机场大巴下车走到汽车站这一段。无午饭在路边吃的著名的马肉米粉,说实话,一般。不过在我预料之中。到了阳朔给网上有名的老班长旅馆打电话,一个清秀小巧的女孩来接我,看了看房间太贵,又转到旁边一家。到了旅馆安顿好已经是下午,休息了一会,晚上出去拍照。到了滨江路上被一个人拉住要漂流,只载我一个人30,我侃到25,心里还觉得值了。后来才知道其实还是亏了。漂流相当短暂,整个20分钟就结束了。因为出来前以为桂林已经是夏天的温度,所以没穿秋裤,在竹筏上傍晚漂流,那是相当的冷。我上岸后就觉得不太舒服,结果又犯了第二个错误。我晚饭在一家貌似有名的大店----谢三姐啤酒鱼,吃了阳朔第一名菜啤酒鱼,就是这个啤酒鱼,差点毁掉我整个旅行。 服务员很热情,人也很多,虽然环境看起来并不那么有名,再加上旅馆的推荐,我也就点了一个啤酒鱼。但是说实话,比酸菜鱼或者水煮鱼差远了。黄记煌的鲶鱼都比这个好。匆匆吃完,回到旅店我就开始觉得不舒服。更糟的是,这家旅馆的空调一点都不热,桂林的夜里冷的像冰窖一样,不过也可能是因为我发烧。后来量了下发烧37.7。赶紧躺下睡觉,吃药喝热水。到了半夜,我被冻醒,又把白天的衣服都穿上,所有的被子都盖上。然后又吐了好几次。到4点的这个时候人38度4,人已经有点烧脱水了,起来去呕吐的时候,差点晕倒在卫生间。最终我坚持着把能吐的都吐了,然后所有的毯子被子都盖上,再穿着全部衣服,袜子都好几层,又喝了开水,才逐渐感到好过点。再后来感觉像是张无忌中玄冰神掌时,一会如坠入冰窟,一会儿又大汗淋漓。到了早上烧逐渐退去,我也不敢远足,只在阳朔县内晒了晒太阳,换了家旅馆。也不管随便吃东西,给了店家5元钱让他帮我煮白米粥,就着榨菜吃了。到了下午又有点发烧,我不敢怠慢,只好修改我的旅行计划,把漓江漂流改为阳朔人民医院半日游。 医院很远,小地方连路灯都没有。我去的路上路过家甜品店,叫下火堂。我看到里面有类似八宝粥一样的东西,便在那里吃了晚饭。黑米羹,相当好吃,里面还加了姜汁。摸索到了医院,已经是8点,大夫给我开了点滴。我便非常奇特的,做在一个点滴室里,四周都是纯朴的农民兄弟,大爷大婶们,讲着我听不懂的当地话。我的那个护士还是实习的,点滴超慢,我等了1个小时,还只滴了半瓶。问她她说就得这么慢的。后来我着急了,那个房间很冷,我心想再打下去还没治好又给冻烧了。于是就自己调快了速度。即使如此,还是到了12点半才打完。 第三天醒来,感觉精神回来了。于是去漓江漂流。漓江精华游,我在去之前,有着很高的期望,因为这是很多摄影人常去的一条线。我还专门考了一个摄影的攻略去。结果去了以后发现,还是失望大于期望。并不是因为不美,而是因为那几个景我真的要好好发挥自己的想象才能看出来。我只漂了兴坪到浪石一段,最后爬了较著名的老寨山,是一个日本人修的路,爬到山顶实在是艰难,路相当难走,并且比想象的要高。到了山顶,认识了不少也上这拍照的发烧友。都是很大岁数了的不服老的老同志们。跟他们聊天直到日落,拍完晚霞下山回阳朔,差点没赶上最后一班车。 第四天,因为听路上认识的朋友说龙脊这个季节去不好看,再加上不想把时间弄得太紧。决定余下的一天还是在阳朔玩。于是就租了旅店的自行车去了遇龙河。遇龙河我觉得不错,有不少田园风光。漓江也很美,但是大部分景色都雷同。遇龙河沿岸有很多不同的景致。这一天也超累,骑自行车得有30多公里,而且很多都是山道。 结束了阳朔的旅行,就准备去越南了。 June 18 就想钻研这点事全球权威的标志设计网站Logolounge 公布了最新的2008标志设计趋势,我们看一下08年都将流行什么!
有些还是很有帮助的。有些太过复杂,不是很好。经常在看这类设计咨询的时候会想,如果我能有足够的时间好好做一个logo就好了,翻来覆去的推敲,应该也有机会登在什么刊物上作为榜样,可惜这是理想状态。基本上就是一槌子买卖,而且logo只是众多杂事中的一项。结果就是做了无数的含有遗憾的作品,即使有很多被客户选中了,也还是觉得自己要是能再好好推敲,还能有更好的。。。。 等以后自己开工作室了,也许能专注的作,但也许,会根本没时间做设计。
Supernova
![]() Imagine what astrophysicists would label a supernova or the eruption and attendant explosion of a star. In a light show reminiscent of the jump to hyperdrive in the original Star Wars, these logos attack the challenge of motion head on. For years we’ve seen marks that have created the impression of motion from a profile perspective using streaks or blurs to signify speed. These examples drive a field of elements toward or away from the viewer using a variety of methods. The LodgeNet logo (by Jeffy Kuyper) advertises the company’s in-room movie service by flying a picture at you with a smart explosive technique. This blast is simple in construction and void of halftone—particularly interesting considering the product is an online commodity that could easily have justified overboard solutions replete with RGB trickery. 1. Jerry Kuyper for LodgeNet 2. Gabi Toth for Halo Consulting 3. Crave Inc. for IQ Beverage Group 4. Mirko Ilic Corp. for Dr. Zoran Djindjic Fund
Fine Line Consistency of line weight is one of the tenants of good logo design. It builds rhythm and ensures legibility at first glance. Forget this rule for this category. Turn your line weight down to hairline and start drawing. Most of these logos live on two levels: first glance, and then second glance, with reader glasses. Typically, a heavier image with message one serves as a background field. The more profound message two is generally encrypted over the top of or knocked out of the heavier image. Fine strokes weights may read as no more than pattern initially, but they can also carry the dichotomy of a counter message. A variation on this is the use of linear art en masse to create enough weight to define a message as in the PULSE logo. This yin yang process tends to captivate the viewer and lends a sense of intelligence to a mark that doesn’t require a hammer to impart a subtle message. 1. Louis Fili for The Mermaid Inn 2. Hula + Hula for Cartoon Network Lainamerica 3. Unit for Artists for Peace 4. Point Blank Collection for Pulse
FoldOver Imagine being asked to design a logo with a long strip of paper as your only tool. These quasi origami style solutions craft out a sense of dimensionality despite staying relatively flat. The material from which these are created range from (but are not limited to) transparent film, metal, and paper. There seems to be a message of cleverness and economy of stroke in many of these. Sometimes the simplicity of the folds takes on additional meaning when the substrates demonstrate unique properties. Note how the opposite side of the material changes to a different color at every fold in the TURN logo. Or see how transparency enforces the visual overlap of material. In some ways, this technique creates a bit of a puzzle effect. It engages the viewer as it tempts them into tracing out the path of the mark or trying to determine if the folds could really occur as offered. 1. PMKFA for Yes King 2. Gardner Design for Liberty Capital 3. A3 Design for Urban Architectural Group 4. Addis Creson for Turn
Global Expansion What a refreshing outlook this trend presents. Time was that any company involved in international commerce gave some passing consideration to a globe as their logo. It’s a solution that has become terribly challenging to address with an original perspective. These logos at least have the honesty to step back and say, “Hey, we may not be fully global yet, but give us time.” All of these marks rely on a centric pattern that diminishes at the edge and then warps out to wrap the sphere in symbolic expansion. Cato Purnell Partner’s diverse group of solutions for Dubai Airport succinctly communicates a key message. Commerce, travel, and tourism have made Dubai a true crossroad for international travelers, and this world-class logo has found a unique way to express the point. Using the Islamic sacred symbol of an octagram, or eight-pointed star, the logo starts to envelope the global sphere with its spreading tile mosaic. The dissemination of a culture is no accidental message in this mark.
1. Lippincott for XOHM 2. Cato Purnell Partners for Dubai International 3. Futurebrand BC&H for Transpiratininga 4. FIRON for Novatel
Loops Continuous bands, yes, but not all of these marks have that certain mojo of the Mobius strip. Moving away from the universal sign of infinity, this group of logos seems to celebrate the flow of a closed cycle. No doubt more than a few rubber bands were called into action for their modeling services, but a ribbon-like figure was not mandatory. There is something personal about the lack of perfect symmetry displayed here. The flexible nature of these logos signifies the ability to transform to meet the needs of the moment. Some appear to be snapshots of motion captured in a millisecond, of an object tense with energy. The Peugeot 307 loop reflects the profile of that specific car but also seems to hover weightlessly above the ground. The chromed appearance of the mark takes on a surrealistic quality while conveying a certain technical prowess as well. 1. Lippincott for IBM & Freescale 2. Mireello Grafico, Inc. for Qualcomm 3. Angelini Design for Peugeot International 4. Double Brand for Long term car rent
Jawbreakers Anyone who’s ever torn up his or her mouth grazing on a jawbreaker or Gobstopper can attest to the concentric rainbow displayed on a perfect cross-section of the confection. There is a certain childhood joy associated with the perfect cleaving of these orbs that is akin to discovering hidden treasure. The 70’s op-art quality of these marks is accomplished with little regard for a reserved palette. Generally, brilliant color is a must and often cross-sections are as unique as Technicolor snowflakes. There is a youthfulness to these logos that addresses a certain vitality in the market. You can’t help but smile at the visual joy they seem to capture. Influences could include Target’s inventive use of its own logo in marketing efforts, although the red and white of their mark seems sedate in comparison to examples shown here. 1. Form for Dazed & Confused/Topshop 2. MacLaren McCann Calgary for Telphonic 3. Volatile for Antidote 4. Volatile for Pod<
Strobe Animation in the static environment of print is challenging at best, but with some sequential stop-motion images, a solution is at hand. Remember those flip-books that with a riffle played out a short animation? Now, take the images, place them on a single surface, and this is the result. These marks have a slinky-like, fluid nature that lends a graceful aesthetic to their associated companies. The Nikon logo crafted by Interbrand some years ago may have signaled the introduction of this process with a major brand. Sprint’s adoption of Lippincott’s logo , a representation of the stop-motion animation of pin dropping, opened the gates for deeper exploration and solutions in a similar vein. Nokia Siemens’ new animated logo, created by Moving Brands, successfully plays out the strobe concept when adapted to print. 1. Interbrand for Nikon 2. Moving Brands for Nokia Siemens Networks 3. Lipincott for UMW 4. Lippincott for Sprint
Nimbus Shield your eyes and pull out the 30 spf sunblock. It’s not a sunburn you’ll fear, but you may need to protect yourself from overly bright ideas. There is a certain glorification associated with all of these marks. The central core of the image is usually a bright tunnel out of which great light emanates. If this sounds a bit like the parting of clouds and the appearance of deities, you may not be far off. Dissemination of light or energy by the use of rays is far more than an astral aura. This indicates a central subject or capability and the prospect that it holds the key or the solution to whatever the question is. Light also connotes knowledge and guidance. Even distribution of these spokes ensures a fairness of distribution and equality of access. As a moth will attest, there is an attracting radiance to these logos, regardless of color. 1. Gardner Design for Catalyst 2. Glitschka Studios for Proctor & Gamble 3. Circulodiseño, SC fr New Venturees 4. Chris Herron Design for Marimon Inc. & Kelly Swofford Roy
Stitch Over the last several years, designers have taken refuge with a variety of appropriated patterns. Design backgrounds have become shrines for wallpaper swatches, Victorian patterns, organic flora, faux wood grains and any other rococo-retro surface that is not nailed down or otherwise copyrighted. Houndstooth and herringbone aside, designers on more boutique projects are dipping into their grandmothers’ baskets of sundries and notions. This is often not as much about textile patterns as it is about the elements that hold a garment together. Zig zag, whip, and cross-stitch are a few of the strokes in the sewing arsenal. Bric-a-brac, fishnet, fringe, and tassels are also working their way into these solutions. This common language of mundane elements takes on a refreshing, often feminine beauty when layered together with great taste. Just remember that the difference between a tablecloth and a haute couture gown is not the material, but knowing what to do with it. 1. The Woodbine Agency for Lamp 2. tenn_do_ten for chico 3. The Pink Pear Design Company for Rummage 4. Hammerpress for Natasha's Mulberry & Mott
Colorblind Sometimes clusters of a logo technique surface with little if any rationale. For this bracket, it’s as if National Geographic just reported the recent unearthing of a series of Ishihara color plates for color blind testing. The influence is obvious but the timing is unexplained. You have to admire the chutzpah of a client willing to adopt a logo that 7% of the male population and 0.4% of women won’t be able to understand. Maybe this is exactly the point. These marks represent a quirkiness associated with entities that only a certain percent of the population will be able to really appreciate. Even for individuals without color blindness, these visuals can be a bit challenging to decipher. But that adds to their mystique and helps to build affinity for the logos when the viewer realizes he has passed the test. Either way, there is a joyful, reminiscent charm at work here—either that or this report is entirely wrong and these companies all sell Dippin’ Dots ice cream. 1. Colorblind Chameleon - Self Promotion 2. Range for Dennis Murphy 3. Pearpod for Razoo 4. Cricket Design Works for Creme Cafe
Amoeba These are soft, inflated blobs without any sharp corners to fall and hurt yourself on. Their friendly shapes are generally unstructured and much like an amoeba under the lens of an electron microscope, fluid and in motion. Amoeba comes from the Greek word amoibe, meaning to change, and this trend is about flux. The elements that compose these logos are anything but static. You can imagine a relationship between the parts of a logo as if they have just divided from one another. This process of morphing and motion give us a clue about the structure and processes of the businesses represented here. Flexibility and an agile nature allow businesses to adapt in mercurial industries. These are entities that embrace the value of evolution. If you’re evolving, chances are you’re a living organism, and there aren’t too many of those with corners. 1. Tactix Creative for DJ Eddie Amador 2. Double Brand for Poza Showroom 3. Mola for EDP 4. Yaroslav Zheleznyakov for Promotion<
Facets Ali Baba and the 40 thieves knew what mattered in a cavern laden with jewel-encrusted treasure. In these precious gems, there is an intrinsic value of which legends are crafted. Whose eyes are not stopped by the alluring refractions of a precious bobble? What a perfect substance from which to carve an identity. To create the greatest value in a material as base as a stone, one has to first recognize potential worth. With exacting efforts, a trained eye can cut away the precise amount that will best maximize value. All of this is done with the looming specter of complete failure if the action is not correct. With great risk comes great reward. These logos can also address the multifaceted nature of a business. By arranging these facets in their optimal positions you create the greatest clarity and light. Or maybe it’s not that deep and we just like bright and shiny things. 1. Kitsh for Clay Saphire 2. Thomas Manss & Company for VCC Perfect Pictures 3. Gardner Design for Lavish 4. BFive for Solo Company
Doodles There is a base honesty to an image that has never been shoved in one side of a computer and back out the other. There is still some soul attached to the mark and even a little sweat and blood from the originator. No attempt is being made to deceive the consumer and certainly there was no upper level management committee to quash the innocence of the humbly crafted logo. Immediacy is an important justifier for these marks as well. The Rebuild logo, developed after Hurricane Katrina sends the message, these people need your help now. There is no time to finesse a corporate solution to the problem here: We need the help and response of everyone, and we need it now. Personal messages and a sense of humanity are associated with these marks. It is the assurance the middleman has been cut out, and that this message is between me and you and no one else. 1. Steve's Portfolio for www.thehurricaneposterproject.com 2. Stubborn Sideburns for Hipposchemes 3. Fifth Letter for Shawn Lynch 4. Studio Oscar for Levi Strauss
Flourish Take a piece of relatively unassuming typography, water and fertilize with insane pixie dust, and let it grow. These logos could be relatives of the Flora and Embellish trend identified over the last two years, but they are definitely about type on steroids. Imagine type with hair that has been coiffed for fashion week in a Fellini movie. Credit the stunning work of Si Scott and the unbridled design of Marian Bantjes as primary influences on this work. Scott specifically has developed a signature look that is being emulated a bit too close for comfort, in some instances. Decorative flourishes gone wild identify these entities: They give more than you anticipate and are conscious of the frills and excesses necessary to carry you to satisfaction. These designs are exoticand unexpected but with enough whimsy to avoid being overtly feminine. 1. Lucero Design for Project 240 Apparel 2. United* for Bar Carrera NY 3. Team Manila Graphic Design Studio for Neu Media 4. Distrubancy Graphic Treatment for Eclipse Streetwear
Fibrous Twisting threads travel in tandem or are spun together to form a twine with even greater strength. Or you see the tendrils of a vine traveling outward from a single source. Maybe it’s the ebb and flow of a rhythmic group of fine fibers acting in concert to create the illusion of a solid mass. These are just of few of the descriptions that help define this category. A collective acting in unison to maximize action and create strength in numbers is at the heart of these logos. These are not lines in perfect step with one and other. Unlike the grooves of a record, these elements show a degree of independence and celebrate the diversity of the components as they unite. Uniting elements for a common good has become a prevalent theme of late. This trend transcends the corporate world and is seen in social efforts as well. Respect of individuality and honor of uniqueness are admirable pursuits. 1. Guillermo Brea & Associates for Argentina 2. Najlon for Town RIJEKA 3. Mattson Creative for The Collective 4. AtomicasStudio for 2 excite June 17 有时不得不相信这世上的事太巧了。May 26 男女相配的九大充要条件第一:你们彼此都是对方最好的朋友,不带任何条件的,喜欢与对方在一起。 第二:彼此很容易沟通、互相可以很敞开地坦白任何事情,而不必担心被对方怀疑或轻视。 第三:两人在心灵上有共同的理念和价值观,并且对这些观念有清楚的认识与追求。 第四:你们都认为婚姻是一辈子的事,而且双方(特别强调“双方”)都坚定地愿意委身在这个长期的婚姻关系中。 第五:当发生冲突或争执的时候可以一起来解决,而不是等以后才来发作。 第六:相处可以彼此逗趣,常有欢笑,在生活中许多方面都会以幽默相待。 第七:彼此非常了解,并且接纳对方,你知道对方了解你的优点和缺点,仍然确信 你是被他所接纳。 第八:从最认识你,也是你所最信任的人之处,得到支持和肯定。(这条说的是别人,比如你最好的朋友,你的家人) 第九:有时你们会有浪漫的感情,但绝大多数的时候,你们的相处是非常满足而且自在的。 已经在一起的朋友们,你们符合其中的几条呢? April 29 也是转的。80后的文章我的闺蜜小猫,刚坠入爱河,对象是个颇有身家的公司小开,当她双眼放光地说完她和他之间的甜蜜爱情之后,
惆怅地说,这个情人节我就能判断他是不是真的爱我……如果他只送我几朵玫瑰,说明他就是玩玩罢了,
如果他送我一套ZARA,说明他还有点真心,如果他送我一只蒂芬尼的手链,那就说明他是来真的。
我开她的玩笑:那你觉得真心的标准是多少?
一千块吧,一千块以下就是玩,一千块以上就是真心。
我啼笑皆非:那是不是有人送你一千块,你就会爱他
![]() 那当然不会
,重要的不是礼物,不是礼物值多少,是那个男人对我的感情值多少—情感专家说了,那个男人为你花的钱越多,就越爱你,为你花的钱越多,他就越离不开你
这位情感专家我碰巧知道,他的混姑娘之道我也知道:先是管接管送,再带到大商场买两身衣服,
越贵越好,越贵她就越不好意思不和你上床,再买点零食—原来我一直不理解为什么有姑娘在接受两身衣服
一点零食之后就芳心大动,在认真思考小猫的恋爱标准之后我终于有点明白了——和男人不一样,在男人的心里,
礼物就是钱、就是物质;而对女人来说,礼物不单是钱不单是物质,还是—爱
![]() 肯送你礼物的人都爱你,送得越贵爱得越深,胡兰成轻易舍张爱玲而去,因为最贵只送了一件皮袍子给她,
船王要娶杰奎琳,只因为他送了她价值连城的珠宝,不娶她这些珠宝就拿不回来;章子怡肯当众送
上三个甜蜜的长吻,因为巨富男友不但来探班,而且还送了珍贵项链.而众美女纷纷和陈公子上床并愿意留下倩影,
无非是陈公子抬手就是过万的卡地亚,像我这样心理阴暗的人甚至暗暗幻想
张妹妹是在戴上那只可爱的卡地亚手镯之后才那样开心地宽衣解带……
近的咱们不说,说远的,香港近年最火的一个女人不是明星,也不是富婆,而是一个叫涂子淇的模特,
凡她做封面的周刊都大卖,因为她是股神李兆基的新抱,有专栏男作家讪笑香港女记者拜物,
因为她们天天津津乐道的事就是:徐子淇收了多少礼——二千万的古董皇冠、VivienneWestwood最新套装、
D 〆G粗腰带、Bvlgari头链、香港末有正式发售的二十多万Roles 新款Yachtmastr手表……
嫁入豪门的女人很多,为什么只有子淇受到女人们狂热的追捧呢?
我想大约因为徐子淇收到了大多数女人一辈子都收不到的礼物。
而这些礼物在女人的头脑里会自动地换算成了爱——半亿珠宝当然完美,378万的限量版法拉利612当然也不错,
IOU车牌好温馨,礼品固然多,还有两个必要条件:第一是老公送的,第二是还得是老公花了心思送的。
在大多数女人逻辑里,物质当然是重要的,几乎是最重要的,但不是最重要,最重要能送礼物的人肯送乐于送天天送,
因为那后面的代言词就是TRUE LOVE。
没有男人爱的女人是可怜虫,哪怕她叫XX,只有被爱的女人才是成功的,她的芳名叫子淇
如果这爱还附送价值连城的礼品,就全体人民就晕菜了 这就是在女人那里让人又好笑又心碎的礼物逻辑! 偶然看到,颇有感触刘墉 一个女学生结婚,喜筵上宾客交头接耳,说那对新人的故事,听的人多半先瞪大眼睛,再皱眉,又接着大笑。 原来「他们」初中就在一起了,形影不离地四五年,男生早一年毕业,申请到外地的大学,临走那天突然对女生说「我们在一起太久了,太没自由了,我们分开吧!」 女生当场怔住了,男生走后哭得死去活来,大学再也没交别的男朋友。 日子过得快,四年后男生回来了,又去找那女生,要复合。 女生的老爸挡在门口,骂那没良心的畜生,欺负他女儿,一次不够,还有脸回来吗?门儿都没有! 正骂呢!女儿出来了,把老爸往旁边一推,挽着男生走了。 老爸还是不罢休,把男生找来说:「我女儿已经申请了****研究所,她功课好,八成能进。将来毕业十几万美金起薪,你怎么样?你能拿多少?我了解我女儿,你如果比她差,就算她现在选择你,将来也会把你甩掉。」 岂知那男生立刻去申请了同一个研究所,也进了。两个人像中学一样,又天天腻在一起。现在毕业,理所当然地走进礼堂。 只是交头接耳的宾客,有些笑得十分诡异,大概心想那对新人,以后工作的地方不同、遭遇不同、条件改变了,还会不会出问题? ◎ 其实在美国中学生,分分合合的事情真是太多了。西方社会的规矩,男女如果亲密交往,会对外表示「我们在约会」,意思是请别人闪开。相对的,有一天没感觉,要分手,也会公开:「我们拆了!」 现在更妙,他们会在自己的Face book上作记号,告诉大家自己是有主还是没主。那记号也就变来变去,让人好像看股票被「死锁」还是「打开」。 所以美国的父母常说:这年头结婚,不是找到了新对象,而是到了结婚的时候,时候到了,碰上哪个就是哪个。这年头离婚,也不一定有第三者,只要条件合不上,就可以拆伙! ◎ 提到条件,让我想起另一个故事。 有位大老板的儿子,交了个「小麻雀」的女朋友。 大老板说儿子是研究所毕业,女生却连大学都没念完,条件差太多,不行!叫那女生去读书,拿个学位回来再说。 女生家里穷,大老板很干脆:「成!我出钱送她出国念书。」 女生出去了。居然没多久,就主动跟「小开男友」分手,据说她交了新男朋友,而且家里更有钱。 大老板倒也没冒火,只是笑笑:「我早知道会这样。那女生以前是没见过世面,而今见了世面,条件好了,眼光改了,我儿子也就不算棵葱了。」 ◎ 眼前浮起两个画面── 一个是旧式夫妻。太太靠丈夫吃饭,好比两人一起旅行,所有财富都在丈夫的背包里,男人虽辛苦,却也神气。女人就算受了委屈,不再想跟着走下去,也没办法。因为离开了丈夫,就失去了生活的能力。 另一幅画面是现代的「双薪夫妻」。两人各背自己的包,说不定还一起牵着孩子。孩子渐渐大了,有了自己的伴侣,要父母打开背包,分了点东西,飞了。剩下两口子,继续走,其中一人实在累了,叫另一半停停,坐在路边休息。只见后面有更多「人生的旅客」跟上来,有人正找伴。坐着的丈夫或太太可能说「我背不动包袱了。」那人就说「我帮你背!你还挺结实的,还能走上一大段路,何不多看看远处的风景呢!」坐着的「一人」心动了,转头看她(或他)。另一半却挥挥手说:「我真走不动了,就坐在这儿看看风景吧!你不必操心我,说不定也有别的走不动的人,愿意停下来陪我。」再指指那人说:「她(或他)年轻,能帮你,你就跟他走吧!别让我拖累了你的步子,你遗憾!我亏欠!」于是二人打开背包,分分行囊里的东西,拥抱、祝福、分手……。 ◎ 读《台湾周刊》,写一位台湾才女的三段情缘。 其中第三段,说有一天才女的猫莫名其妙地跑掉,才女觉得她也该跑了。接着男朋友告诉她,以前的女朋友回来,听说才女的事,决定回头争取旧爱。 才女很平静地说:「即使你做了最后的决定,我还是深信我们的关系是非常有价值的,也深信彼此间的善意。」 文章结尾,作者引述才女的话── 「我不一定有能力和别人长久相处,但很有能力和别人分手。」 这使我想起似乎在不久前,也看过才女在报上写「你怎么能想象跟同一个人,一过就是六十年。」 果然是才女!多智慧!多直接!多自信!如同她以前说的「愚蠢的人在爱情中堕落,聪明的人在爱情中成长。」 「她」很聪明,一次又一次放下背包、拿起背包,走人生的漫漫长路。她的背包永远装自己的东西,属于她! ◎ 可不是吗?一个世纪以前,人们的平均寿命不到五十岁,中年都没过一半,就离开了世界。 而现在,医疗进步、生活富裕,有些国家的「均寿」已经将近八十。这多出的三十年,如同加长一倍的旅途,当旅行者的精力不同、目标不同、生理和人生态度的条件改变,会不会有人倦了,坐下了;有人却要继续奋斗,不得不协议分手? ◎ 怪不得德国菲尔特的女市长,二○○七年九月曾对记者说:「我建议婚姻期限为七年,意思是人们将来只须在固定的时间内作承诺。七年到了,如果想继续,必须再说一次『是的!我愿意!』。」 这又是一位才女的大胆言论,很巧的是她也离过两次婚,现年五十一岁。 ◎ 想起我少年时代,曾跟一位在师大国语中心留学的荷兰人「交换语言」,每周碰面,由他教我法文,我教他中文。 几个月之后,他突然对我说:「下一次我不直接来你家,我们约在国语中心门口碰面。到时候如果你不希望继续,或我不希望继续,就不露面。」 我怔了一下,觉得方法好怪,但是同意了。 到那一天,我犹豫又犹豫,没去,也就不知道他有没有去。 三十八年过去,我们再没彼此的消息。 于是,我的眼前又浮起一个新的画面── 一对夫妻,走过那德国市长说的婚姻期限。 时间到了!两个人说好:我们在初认识的地方再一次约会,你可以来或不来,我也可以作我自己的选择。我们都有自由、都没压力……。 那一天,那一刻,像是约会的情侣,一个人先到了,眼睛东张西望、心脏砰砰狂跳,脑里想的是过去那段日子,我对他够不够好?他会不会早想与我分手,只是不好意思说? 模模糊糊的光影、尘土飞扬的道路、穿流不息的人群,有人哭、有人笑、有人离别、有人重逢。所有积下的情与怨、爱与恨都将揭晓。 那远远走来……摇摇摆摆……熟悉的……已经苍老……却让我一眼就认出的……不是他吗?他,居然还是选择了我。我这么怨他、恨他、想一走了之,居然也还是选择了他。怎想到几十年之后,我们明明都可以走,但还是回来了。怎想到老了老了,还能再一次约会、再一次悸动、再一次惊喜、再一次惊艳 |
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